I have known Megan my whole life. But now I know her intimately, and she has transformed me. I was a depressed and anxious person. Now I am the man I used to be. I can not wait to spend my life with her. She worries so much about old things happening –things that happened with her ex. But I know that I can be everything she wants and deserves, and I will be. She bring out the best in my, and it is my desire to bring out the best in her.
Later on in the morning, after my last post, an old friend, one that I loved but never made love with, contacted me and needed help. I hadn’t spoken to her in a while, but now we are talking like it was 20 years ago. I feel like the dream I had, was a rumbling, a spiritual vibe to check an account that I rarely looked at, so I could see her message.
Old feelings have come rushing back. Now my dreams are only of her. And they are vivid, intense, and romantic to the absolute core. I have high, high hopes; but low, low, expectations.
I have loved a lot of women. Some of them I still love. Some of them I don’t. Some of them I was intimate with. Some of them I was just in love with, and never was. Some women I was intimate with and never loved.
Love is a strange affair. Some of the women I was in love with I still dream about. Literally in my sleep and vividly. Some of those, are the women I was in love with but was never with in any way, and my dreams are that of what may have become, or the makings of how it may have come to be.
Tonight, I had a dream of two women I was in love with but was never with at all. In my dream, they appeared differently as they do in reality, but when I woke up, I knew exactly who they were.
One would think that those I was in love with but never with in any way would be the weakest, but in reality, they are those who I dream about the most when I am alone. But I know that most of them I can never have. Some of the women I still love, I know that I will never talk to again.
It’s strange. But that is love.